Monday, September 29, 2008

"A Mighty Wind blows through Republican convention"

I was just pointed to this wonderfly snarky column on Palin:

A Mighty Wind blows through Republican convention

Heather Mallick
September 5, 2008

I assume John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his vice-presidential partner in a fit of pique because the Republican money men refused to let him have the stuffed male shirt he really wanted. She added nothing to the ticket that the Republicans didn't already have sewn up, the white trash vote, the demographic that sullies America's name inside and outside its borders yet has such a curious appeal for the right.

So why do it?

It's possible that Republican men, sexual inadequates that they are, really believe that women will vote for a woman just because she's a woman. They're unfamiliar with our true natures. Do they think vaginas call out to each other in the jungle night? I mean, I know men have their secret meetings at which they pledge to do manly things, like being irresponsible with their semen and postponing household repairs with glue and used matches. Guys will be guys, obviously.

But do they not know that women have been trained to resent other women and that they only learn to suppress this by constantly berating themselves and reading columns like this one? I'm a feminist who understands that women can nurse terrible and delicate woman hatred.

Palin was not a sure choice, not even for the stolidly Republican ladies branch of Citizens for a Tackier America. No, she isn't even female really. She's a type, and she comes in male form too....

[whole column]


Warning: Inappropriate Humor

Bush's Call Girl

One day about a month ago, President Bush was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls in a local lounge, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

To the Blonde he said, "I am the President of the United States. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?

She replied, $200."

To the Brunette he asked the same question.

Her reply was $100.

He then asked the Redhead.

Her reply was, "Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my panties as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times, and keep it rising like the gas prices, keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and screw me the way you do the public, then believe me, Mr. President, it isn't going to cost you a damn cent."

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

Why does the Post-Gazette think we are ridiculous?

Here's the headline of Peter McKay latest column "Trapped by a chick flick"

It is truly a toss up as to which "writer" is more demeaning to women who read the Post-Gazette -- Peter McKay's domesticated man struggling to reclaim his machismo or Cat Specter's daddy's girl with a kicky beret (someone even referenced her "hat" in this week's column.)

McKay complains that viewing Sex and the City is turning him into a woman. Or, worse, gay. I know there are plenty of men who share his opinion, but I just wonder if maybe the Post-Gazette pays him in coupons or something. There's no rational explantion why one of America's great newspapers would print such drivel. It is not funny. It isn't original. It is a big waste of space. And in a big shout out to the folks at the Pittsburgh Media Scoops and Gossip Forum, there is so much actual talent in this region, that it is a shame.

If you want to attract young readers, hire professionals to write thoughtful, informative and, perhaps, entertaining pieces. Not whiny men obsessing about throw pillows. Not untested Daddy's girls to give advice on lipstick and sex. Being a yinzerette with Shadyside shopping credentials does not qualify you to give advice and, more importantly, it doesn't make for very interesting reading. It doesn't matter if Tony Norman is your defender -- and I love Tony a lot -- your editor is obviously missing something when he lets this get by:

Question: I don't feel right paying money to someone with those
values, but I have a lease. Can you put my mind at ease until I can move
out?Cat's Response: Of course you kept your mouth shut; otherwise next week
you'd have no heat. It seems callous, but there's a reason people separate
business from personal matters. Look, for all you know your dry cleaner is a
bigot, but he presses a shirt like nobody's business. Would you still go there
if you knew? No, but only because you have the choice. You don't have that
option when you're bound by a lease.
Cat's Call: Stay cool, remain friendly
with your neighbors, and hightail it outta there when you get the chance.

Ironic that Tony Norman would lift up someone who doesn't have the common sense to understand how the Fair Housing Act is designed for situations just like this one. Because housing discrimination based on race HURTS EVERYONE.

I would trade McKay and Specter for a daily Dear Abby in a heartbeat. I've been informed that Cat Specter thinks I hate her or have a personal grudge. Rest assured, that I'm not interested in writing advice for the Post-Gazette ... I don't even think there should be an advice column. I'd rather read news, features or columns. I don't want to write for any publication. I have a career and I enjoy blogging because it meets my own needs. If people read it great. If they find it so offensive, they wish me to choke on my own bile and die, fine. The point is that I have no delusions of grandeur. Chris Potter isn't going to come swooping in with a $50,000 offer to pen a weekly lesbian column. If he did, I'd say no and keep writingn whatever the hell I want to write about.

But when you continue to churn out borderline homoophobic content like this ... in the name of gentle humor ... you need to be called on it.
I staggered to my feet, just as I felt the last Y chromosome seeping away
from my soul. My wife asked me where I was going.
"Don't know, don't care," I
said. "But I gotta get outta here before we have to move to a state that's
legalized same-sex marriage!"

Rumor has it the Post-Gazette may be laying off actual reporters on Monday morning. There's room for this tired old crap about emasculated husbands being equal to women and/or being gay, but there's no room for news?

Sigh. But I'll still keep my subscription to the paper. My 92 year old grandmother reads the entire paper, cover to cover every day, tosses it down in disgust and talks about the hey day when her father was the Sports Editor (back in the 1940s and 1950s). But she still reads it. It is in our blood, sort of literally since I bet some of that ink was absorbed into his DNA back in the early part of the century.

I wish the Post-Gazette would stop trying so hard to be hip. It is very embarrassing, sort of like the Verizon commercial with the parents in teen punk clothing.

Anti-Palin Grassroots Efforts Here in Pgh

crossposted from

If you are interested in channeling your anti-Palin energies into something productive, check out this grassroots efforts emerging from Pittsburgh's feminist community.
WHEN: THIS SUNDAY September 28, 2008 HIGH NOON
> WHERE: The Quiet Storm 5430 Penn http://www.quietsto rmcoffee. com/
> WHAT:You are being invited to the very first organizing meeting of the
> Anti-Palin Satire Rally being planned for November 1st, 2008, where
> both "Palin" and "Cindy McCain" will be making an appearance.
> Please come bring your input and ideas and join the few women who are
> currently trying to make this a national media event and also
> hopefully tip the scale to Obama in this proclaimed "dead heat" for
> PA. Creative ideas esp welcome.
> WHO: Regular people who need a way to creativly express thier outrage
> and make a difference.
> FINE PRINT: YOU MUST RSVP BY Saturday September 27, 2008 at 7:00 PM to
> nothankspalin
I have telephone numbers if you want to contact the organizers, but I don't want to put those on the blog. Email me if you need them. This sounds very intriguing.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Economics and the Woman

This economic crisis has me scared. I woke up this morning, got the little one off to school, made the other little ones breakfast, brewed a nice cup of coffee and sat down to watch the news to see about the weather--is it going to rain or not!!!

But Good Morning America had a panel of "ordinary" Americans like you and I (I'm suspicious of panels) asking questions to experts in the field about whether or not they should take their money out of the bank and stuff it under their mattresses, and other equally frightening questions. I hid under my blanket in horror.

I don't know shit about the economy.

As more and more women become economically independent, we owe it to ourselves to understand the economy and how it affects us and our money. It is about our security, our independence, our retirement, our future--it is everything.

Whether you are single or married; underprivileged or over; a parent or not, it is undeniably important in this day and age to educate yourself. You never know where life's circumstances will put you, so be prepared.

After watching this morning and seeing the devastation these last several months have created, I'm taking my head out of the sand and resolving to be a better educated woman in the area of economics, which so many of us women ignore.

I hope you do the same.

Lady Elaine

Thursday, September 25, 2008


What do my looks have to do with this?

Check out this article about Female Comedians which includes me. It was in today’s Tribune Review. It was written by William Loeffler. Here is his opening paragraph:

“With her tomboyish short hair and Huck Finn grin, it’s easy to imagine Gab Bonesso disguising herself as a cabin boy and stowing away on a ship bound for Treasure Island.”

This is the second time he’s referred to my looks as being “cabin boy“-ish. Really? A “cabin boy“? I believe the last time that he wrote about me I looked like “The Artful Dodger” from Oliver Twist. Well, wait. Here’s exactly what he wrote (read full article here ):

“For reasons that are only partially related to her gamin appearance and Artful Dodger persona, Gab Bonesso seems like the kind of person who could be voted Most Likely to Impersonate a Cabin Boy and Stow Away on a Whaler.”

Wow, he really likes that “cabin boy” reference. Maybe I should consider producing/starring in the stage version of Gilligan’s Island… You know? If I’m that fit for the part.

The thing that really confuses me is that I’m not sure what this has to do with my ability to perform comedy? Maybe Bill is trying to be ironic… You know? He writes an article under the guise that female comedians have it rougher than male comedians, but then he proceeds to belittle my talent by spending the entire first paragraph describing my looks (or how he perceives my looks to be) rather than discussing my talent. I find this to be very curious. Why is Loeffler singling-out ME and MY looks? Perhaps, he has a little bit of a crush on me and this is his third-grade way of letting me know that he likes me. OR… Is it more vindictive and Tribune-Reviewey than that? Perhaps by calling me a “cabin boy” or calling me “The Artful Dodger” he is subtly trying to scream, “SHE LOOKS LIKE A BIG DYKE!!!!!!”. Either way, me looking like a “cabin boy” (which, by the way, Mrs. Palfrey and my Mom think that I look like an Italian Audrey Hepburn. So snap!) has NOTHING to do with me performing stand-up comedy in Pittsburgh. Thanks for writing about my upcoming shows, my new material, the upcoming play that I’m going to be in or the dozens of other projects that I mentioned to you during the interview. Oh, and thanks for not printing any of the pictures that I sent you, but rather, grabbing one off of the internet from 4 years ago when my hair was much shorter to help you promote your cause of convincing Pittsburgh that I’m their friendly, neighborhood, “cabin boy“.

I’m sorry. The irony that a sexist wrote this article is killing me. Oh and Bill, if you’re confused as to why I think that you’re a sexist, it’s because of this… I am a woman. I like to wear clothes that are comfortable. Sometimes, when the mood strikes me, I like to wear gowns and put on make-up. Hard to believe, I know. However, regardless of what I am wearing, I am a women. Whether I’m wearing chamo cargo pants or a mini skirt, I am a woman. So for you to refer to me as a “cabin boy” is really a 1950’s, conservative, HIGHLY sexist thing to write. Just for the record. But I understand that the media has a hard time understanding sexism. I saw what you bitches did to Hillary. So anywhore, moving on…

Thanks for writing this article, Bill. You sure are helping to break down sexist stereotypes one article at a time. Oh wait. No. I meant, you’re helping to build them up. My bad. I was too busy worrying about me and the Skipper getting off of this island. Damn sandworms…

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

"Presidents are going to have to deal with more than one thing at a time"

Obama is absolutely right. If McCain can't prepare for the debate and think about the Bush bailout at the same time, he really doesn't have the chops to be president.

It's important to approach this latest Republican bill to our children very carefully. It's better to have people in the Congress and in the financial community to think before acting.
This was sent to me in an e-mail today and I thought it was too good not to pass on. It gets a point across plus helps a good cause.

Sarah Palin believes that abortion should never be allowed,
even in the case of a woman impregnated by a rapist.

Sarah Palin believes that abstinence-only should be the
only sex education allowed in schools....and we've all seen how well that
worked out for her daughter.

Here's a way to stick it to Palin and let her know that there are many of us
out here she doesn't represent.

This is a great way to donate to a great cause, tax
deductible and have a good laugh! Please pass it around

We may have thought we wanted a woman on a national political ticket, but the joke has really been on us, hasn't it? Are you as sick in your stomach as I am at the thought of Sarah Palin as Vice President of the United States?

Since Palin gave her speech accepting the Republican nomination for the Vice
Presidency, Barack Obama's campaign has raised over $10 million dollars.
Some of you may already be supporting the Obama campaign financially; others of you may still be recovering from the primaries. None of you, however, can be happy with Palin's selection, especially on her positions on women's issues. So, if you feel you can't support the Obama campaign financially, may I suggest the following fiendishly brilliant alternative? And best of all, do both - Donate to Planned Parenthood AND to the Obama campaign.

Make a donation to Planned Parenthood. In Sarah Palin's name. A Planned Parenthood donation is tax deductible, while a political donation isn't. And here's the good part: when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor.

Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood website: go to donate, then honorary gifts

You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in
Sarah Palin's honor" card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain
campaign headquarters:

McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street
1st Floor
Arlington , VA 22202

Or you can send it to:

Governor Sarah Palin
Governor's Mansion
716 Calhoun Ave
Juneau, AK 99801-1617

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Proposed HHS regs will limit access to health care based on religious beliefs

Just received word of this ....

Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS), Michael Leavitt, from enacting
harsh regulations that would threaten your access to vital reproductive health
care. The proposed regulatory language would allow your health care provider to
refuse to provide certain medical services on the basis of his or her own
religious ideology.
If the proposed regulations become law, any medical
professional could refuse to provide you with:

-birth control pills or other
forms of hormonal contraception

-emergency contraception

-an abortion

-a referral for an abortion

-an examination, if you are seeking treatment to which he/she opposes ideologically

-a referral for any other necessary medical services to which he/she opposes ideologically.

Thursday, September 25 is the deadline for public input. You can take action through the Advocates for Youth website here. Or through NOW here.

Now puts it pretty succintly "This Administration has lost its moral compass when the personal and private beliefs of a pharmacist or bookkeeper are more important than a woman's bodily integrity, her health, her future, and her right to family planning options. Birth Control is NOT Abortion."

This is just me speaking, but I can see how this extends beyond birth control. What about women and men seeking medical support during their gender transition? What if the community health clinic refuses to provide referrals to qualified practicioners, leaving these individuals out in the cold?

What about sexual orientation? What if the community health center staff oppose same sex relationships and refuse to provide good information on safe sex practices? Or referrals for counseling to therapists or providers that are gay-positive?

I found my current therapist through a former PCP and gay-positive was part of my criteria. What if she refused to give me a referral?

Where will it end? Please take a moment to send that email. And blog about this.


things have been and are pretty heavy of late so:

YEP, you guessed it-


You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly.

You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality.

People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

come on, find one and lets all take a breather from the news. if only for a moment.

AND it's still true.

"I was the first American citizen to be elected to Congress in spite of the double drawbacks of being female and having skin darkened by melanin. When you put it that way, it sounds like a foolish reason for fame. In a just and free society it would be foolish."

—Shirley Chisholm

Sunday, September 21, 2008


By Jay Allbritton
Sep 20th 2008 11:19PM

The presidential campaigns of Barack Obama and John McCain reached an agreement on the procedural details that will govern the upcoming debates. According to The New York Times, each candidate will have two minutes to answer each question, followed by five minutes of free-flowing conversation between the candidates.

The McCain/Palin campaign demanded a very different set of regulations, however, for the vice presidential debate. In their only debate on October 2, the amount of time granted to vice presidential nominees Joe Biden and Sarah Palin for a response will be shorter than the period used in the presidential debates. The reason for that, according to sources cited by Times writer Patrick Healy, is because McCain advisers feel that Palin would be "at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive" due to her inexperience as a debater.

Common knowledge of the characterization of Palin as an inexperienced debater during these negotiations could be a useful tool for the McCain campaign, which would surely like to lower expectations for Palin ahead of the debate. This is a fairly routine tactic in politics. The media tends to judge a candidate's performance in a debate based on how much that candidate managed to exceed the media's expectations of their performance before the debate.

(me here. this is just embarrassing,aggravating and unfair. if she's up to the task of vice-president than she should be up to debating without being coddled. )


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gallup Poll on Single vs. Married Women

From the Women's Voices. Women Vote. Newsletter:

Latest Gallup Poll
"Gallup recognizes the importance of the marriage gap, and has been polling on the preferences for the General Election and reporting the results by marital status and gender since early June. Be sure to check the WVWV website each week to see the latest results. This week, 57% of unmarried women favor Barack Obama, and 33% support John McCain. Of married women, 54% favor John McCain, and 39% support Barack Obama -- giving Barack Obama an overall 39 point marriage gap."


-Agent Ska-

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Bitch Needs You!

Bitch rocks. Who is with me? It is my all-time favorite magazine and we subscribe to A LOT of magazines (Bitch, Bust, Ms., Rolling Stone, Paste, National Geographic, Soap Opera Digest, The Week, Time, Consumer Reports, The Advocate, Curve) to the extent that our coffee table looks like a recycling heap. We can't even find them all.

Bitch is like my scarecrow. Bust is cool and fun, but it doesn't get all meaty and in-depth. Ms. is old school and I'm loyal and all that, but dealing with their customer service department when they make a billing error is beyond awful. Curve is the best lesbian magazine, IMHO. The Week rocks, too, but it ain't no Bitch.

Indie magazines disappear at an appalling rate. If you can help out, great. If not, please follow the link above to put a button on your blog. Rock on, Bitch Sisters!


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

UPMC Mercy refuses emergency contraception to rape victims

Two area hospitals, UPMC Mercy and Mercy Jeannette Hospital, have opted not to provide emergency contraception (EC) to sexual assault survivors who arrive seeking care. The hospitals are allowed to opt out under Governor Rendell's regulations which mandate that hospitals, at minimum, inform victims about the existence of EC.

More info from the PA Department of Health:

The following hospitals have notified the Department of Health (DOH) that pursuant to 28 Pa. Code § 117.57 they may not offer emergency contraception to a sexual assault victim and provide emergency contraception at the hospital at the request of the victim as doing so is contrary to the stated religious or moral beliefs of the hospital. These hospitals must*:

  • Provide individual oral and written notice to the sexual assault victim that emergency contraception is not provided at the hospital due to the stated religious or moral beliefs of the hospital.
  • Provide oral and written notice to the sexual assault victim of the hospital’s obligation to arrange for transportation for the sexual assault victim as stated below, and prominently display such notice in the hospital’s emergency service area.
  • Upon request of the sexual assault victim, arrange for immediate transportation for the sexual assault victim, at no cost to the sexual assault victim, to the closest hospital where the sexual assault victim could obtain emergency contraception. If the sexual assault victim’s medical condition does not require further inpatient hospital services, the hospital may arrange to transport the victim to a rural health clinic, federally qualified health canter, pharmacy, or other similar location where a sexual assault victim could obtain emergency contraction.

Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital

Mercy Philadelphia Hospital

Mercy Suburban Hospital Norristown

Nazareth Hospital

Altoona Regional Health System – Bon Secours campus

Mercy Hospital Scranton

Muncy Valley Hospital

St. Mary Medical Center

Williamsport Hospital & Medical Center

UPMC Mercy

Mercy Jeannette Hospital

All of the facilities noted above have requested an exemption under 117.57(1).

In addition, under 117.58(1)(ii), St. Agnes Long Term Care Hospital has notified the Department that they have elected not to provide any sexual assault emergency services, as a hospital offering a limited range of emergency services.

(Via Planned Parenthood e-newsletter)

Obama's Equal Pay for Equal Work Ad

Excellent Ad. Excellent.

-Agent Ska-

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Women of Alaska Reject Palin - Amazing Rally

Inspiring news out of Anchorage: was time to head to the Alaska Women Reject Palin rally. It was to be held outside on the lawn in front of the Loussac Library in midtown Anchorage. Home made signs were encouraged, and the idea was to make a statement that Sarah Palin does not speak for all Alaska women, or men. I had no idea what to expect. The rally was organized by a small group of women, talking over coffee. It made me wonder what other things have started with small groups of women talking over coffee. It’s probably an impressive list.

...writes the blogger at Mudflats. I encourage you to read the rest of the story - a rabidly conservative radio host calls the organizers "a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots" and publishes their home phone numbers but he also publicizes the time and place of the rally. You can imagine the results. Protesters do turn up, but the Alaska Women Reject Palin supporters turn up in breathtakingly record numbers - for the largest political rally in the state's history.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

A New Chair on the Blogging Scene

Hello Gal Bloggers (and Guys).

I just started a blog (in the sense of earlier this summer) and after feedback from some respected bloggers telling me I'm incredibly lazy and should really start blogging like every day and NOT every month, I have begun the task of becoming an official blogger.

It is an interesting life, being a blogger. I actually have to read the paper and not rely on television or the Internet, which kind of sucks--I hate it when my fingers get all dirty and I have to do so much work, like looking at words! I have to qualify a statement and make it clear. And I'm obsessed with how many people visit my blog. Luckily, I'm a moron with this HTML stuff--my counter STILL doesn't work, so right now, it's at zero.

What's fun, though, is the limitless amount of stuff to write about. All I have to do is sit in my chair that marks the spot in the street in the front of my house and wait for something stupid to happen.

For the moment, I seem to be focused on writing on the presidential election and our mayor's administration. I'm in a political mood, what can I say. Who wouldn't be in this climate? I encourage you to check out my blog sometime--I'll save you a spot:

Lady Elaine

Friday, September 5, 2008


i just f'ing KNEW it was!

Georgia Republican Rep. Lynn Westmoreland used the racially-tinged term "uppity" to describe Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama Thursday. Westmoreland was discussing vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's speech with reporters outside the House chamber and was asked to compare her with Michelle Obama.

"Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Sen. Obama, they're a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they're uppity," Westmoreland said.Asked to clarify that he used the word “uppity,” Westmoreland said, “Uppity, yeah.”

Westmoreland is one of the most conservative members of Congress. He has drawn criticism from civil rights advocates on a number of issues, including last year when he led opposition to renewing the 1965 Voting Rights Act. He also was one of two House members last year who opposed giving the Justice Department more money to crack unsolved civil rights killings.

Monday, September 1, 2008


What better way to celebrate my getting braces and incorporate my love of paleontology than with some self-deprecating photographs? If you look into my teeth, you can see forever, can you not?