Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dolly Busts Up My Concert Plans

OK, so that was really obvious. But, seriously, Dolly was coming to Pittsburgh in early March and I have been excited for months. She's the greatest, just the greatest. Our friend was flying in to see the show with us. You must understand that I hate concerts. I napped during Bruce Springsteen that's how bored I was. But a concert in the Cultural District is usually pretty good.

Then, last night we got the call. It was 10:05 PM and Ledcat sighs "Oh no!" into the phone. Is it her grandma? My grandma? Our friend's dog? What? Who? Why? Tell me!

Dolly postponed the tour. She injured her back and has to take an eight week rest. So. There. You. Have. It. She's planning to resume her tour and reschedule the missed dates so I guess I'll get to see her in early summer. Sigh. But I need a date now. I am not good with delayed gratification.

Leave it to Dolly to try to comfort me with humor:

"I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to
get my new Backwoods Barbie CD and world tour together, but I didn't mean to
hurt myself doing it," Parton said in the statement.

"But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems," she quipped.

I am not a girly girl by any stretch, but as a child I thought Dolly Parton was the prettiest woman in the whole world. I loved the hair, the clothes and her boobs. Plus, she could sing. And she always seemed so nice. I wanted her to be my long-lost aunt that would take me to Tennessee which I really thought was the promised land (we went on vacation once and it was really cool).

I've also always thought of her as the poster-girl for being proud of your boobs because YOU like 'em, not because your lover likes 'em. She doesn't let people lose sight of the woman (and the brains) above the breasts. She makes powerful, earthy music in high heels seem the most natural thing in the world. And even though I would never ascend to those heels, I can appreciate the strength it takes to walk in them.

Dolly taught me a lot about being a woman. And walking gracefully. Puppies and all.


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