WARNING FOR ALL WOMEN !
This is a heads up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet,
and an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you
have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen
while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an
urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It
was just that quick. I went to sleep in my bod y and woke up w ith
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked
oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been
mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spe nt the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and
angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer
Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt
was next. I know it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches
lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier.
Now, my rear end complimented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I
prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One
morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated
as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the
hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced
one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,
unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked
repeatedly and without warning. In despair I gave up my T-shirts.
What could they do to me next?
My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving
turkey it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I
can't take on the medical profession by myself.
Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't
plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are
getting those replacemen t part, don't you? The next time you suspect
someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?
I think I finally found my thighs...and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a
really good price for them!
This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS.
P. S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my
breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of
bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my
armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
yep, just got this. it's funny because it's true and yet,now that i'm "there",
56 and heading towards 60, it doesn't matter as much as i thought it might when i did give it any thought way back when.
things have changed so drastically since the late 60's. i can't even count the ways.
it boggles my mind.
so, i will concentrate more on the fact that i am still, "becoming" who i am and less on the cottage cheese thighs that my blue jeans hide quite well(so far)
and tho i still hunt for the PERFECT lipstick and will die clutching an eyeliner in my fist, i'm glad i'm still learning and still here and that i have the chance in the upcoming election to vote for either a woman or a man of color.
i really never thought i'd live to see either option available.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
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