The Need To Wash One's Eyes Out With Bleach

My most favorite dahntahn attorney, Tim Murray (you know him from "The Blog That Needs Not Be Named"), asked me whose face I superimposed on David on a post at my satire blog I titled, "PPG FORCES ARTS FESTIVAL TO PULL OFFENSIVE NUDE ARTWORK FROM ITS FORUM."

Admittedly, it is a little difficult to discern. But be it known here that it is the rugged, heat-wizened face of the infamous "Hunky Steelworker." (I call this my "Hunky David." And see, I can say that -- because even though I'm half French, I'm also half Carpatho-Russian/Lemko. So there.)

As you may or may not recall, "Hunky Steelworker" was the ethnically-incorrect statue that caused a lot of hullabaloo at the Three Rivers Arts Festival a few years ago. This was my satirization America's problem -- and specifically Pittsburgh's -- with artful nudity.

Mary Thomas' article in the P-G talks (or reads, more aptly) about how PPG pulled the plug on a piece of installation art called, "The need to wash the self with milk and honey" by Carolina Loyola-Garcia which shows FULL FRONTAL FEMALE NUDITY (please, take a moment to gasp at this insane concept). The corporation thought the piece was inappropriate for its building.

Thomas observes, astutely:

It's also curious that last year's Society of Sculptors Wintergarden exhibition, "Projects 2006," raised no eyebrows although it included a video installation, "ALAMAR" by Patricia Villalobos Echeverria, that showed a nude woman immersed in ocean waves. And, presumably, male nudity is OK, since Paul Bowden's sculpture "Red Alert" remains in this year's show.

Since the piece is "off" now, you won't have the opportunity to explain it to your kids, at your discretion. Or even to turn their heads, if you must -- just like you did when you passed Minnie the Arts Festival Whore looking to make some extra cash while she bides her time waiting for the North Shore casino biz to open.

Imagine -- seeing the female body as an art form instead of as a dirty, cheap piece of trash -- the way your kids usually see it on M-TV or that "wrestling show," whatever that is.

Thank goodness we have the corporate censors (call it what you will, but that's what it is) to protect our young ones from the obscenities of the naked, female body.

But who will protect them from the obscenities of male-dominated corporate culture? Hey Minnie -- where are ya when we need ya!?